One morning recently I enjoyed two really great sessions with two lovely clients – and in discussion with them afterwards I realised an important component to a top tantra massage experience.
I feel as if I am not giving a massage… but experiencing the massage
As in, I am not simply giving the massage to someone else on the outside. Instead I feel like I am really LIVING the massage together with the other person… as if we are two halves of one whole experience. Breathing together, feeling together, being together.
It is such a beautiful symbiosis when this happens.
The fact that I am ‘giving’ the massage, in the technical sense of being the active participant giving touch to a passive receiver, is irrelevant in that energetically we are both giving and receiving within the session. What do I mean by this?
I sometimes symbolize this at the opening ritual by explaining that my right hand (with your left underneath it) gives while my left hand (with your right hand above it) receives.
Some guests look up at that point and ask what I mean by that.
What I am referring to is something called ACTIVE RECEIVING.
Active receiving is a way to be totally passive while also being energetically engaged with what you are experiencing from an internal perspective.
For instance, if I am stroking your leg and you are up in the head thinking about your day, you are avoiding the depth of sensation possible if you had instead made the decision to be fully aware within your leg. To go deep into those tissues, to focus on the feeling of being touched there.
What does it feel like?
Is it soft, does it excite you?
Do you notice how tired and sore your leg muscles are?
Do you notice how the skin there is so more or less sensitive than other areas just touched?
Do you feel pleasure in this spot?
Can your awareness of the pleasure allow it to spread further within the body?
Perhaps you can focus enough on this feeling while relaxing the muscles surrounding your leg to let the feeling travel further, out into other parts of your body that aren’t even being touched at that moment! The possibilities for active receiving are endless.
Once you begin to become more and more aware of how good it feels to fully receive the touch – there is certainly no way you want to give up this privilege to stay in your mind and thoughts.
This can be a difficult switch in the beginning of your experiences with tantra massage – it feels strange at first to move from focusing on the outside world to tentatively discovering the inner realm.
Go slowly and gently with yourself.
Be sure to discuss your massage experiences with your practitioner, they should be able to give you exercises to try between sessions that can help you with your practice. And above all... enjoy!