on conflict + repair

Yesterday, holding the first of a four-part couples growth package, I had the honour to dive head first into the raw terrain of trigger cycles in relationship + offer support within this complex existential process

Trigger cycles begin with those moments where one particular word, glance or action can send us spinning… out of presence and into the storm, often in a split second

Suddenly the nervous system is flooded… and the person we love feels like the enemy

This is trauma in action, coming alive in the body

And this is where the real work begins!

We’re not here to avoid the triggers…

that isn’t realistic

We are here to learn how to come back into connection

To ourselves, first of all

To ground through breath, touch, movement—finding our footing in the body once more, away from racing thoughts

And then, when possible, to meet again in co-regulation

Through specific embodied practices that build safety, not through words, but through felt experience

A hand on the heart

A synced breath

A shared stillness where the body whispers ‘we’re safe’

This is the art of repair

It’s not perfection, nor bypass

But returning again and again

to love, truth + connection

Compatibility isn’t about never triggering each other…

It’s about how you navigate the messiness of life, love + relating over time with someone

How you hold each other’s humanness

And how you grow together—with clear boundaries and real compassion in the process

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DANNI LOVEFOX

www.snatch.land/couples-coaching

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#relationshiprepair #somatichealing #nervoussystemregulation #traumainformed #consciousrelationship #coregulation #lovingthroughtriggers #embodiedintimacy #couplescoaching #snatchland

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Please note that there is a difference between navigating naturally occurring trigger cycles with a generally safe partner, and dealing with abusive behaviour as a result of someone’s triggers. Be sure to discern the difference and draw appropriate boundaries – with the help of a professional if needed. Stay safe and look for support if you have any doubts. Domestic violence is real and can end tragically

RIP Anja Körner 🖤